For those who missed last week, I’ll be dipping the pen every Tuesday here at The Odds Factory with a weekly gambling diary, tracking my betting performance and slowly deteriorating mental health. Follow along as I try to make enough money to buy The Odds Factory and pit all the employees against each other in a Hunger Games-style scenario, where I’ll be forcing them to grovel for money and my favor. A dream scenario for everyone involved. This week, I focused on parlays for the NFL Divisional Round and NBA regular-season action.
Action Jackson Gambling Diaries Vol. 2: Power of the Parlay
Last Week’s Balance: 5 Units
Current Balance: 22.5 Units
Action Jackson Scale: Treat Myself Because I Deserve It
What a week of betting here at Action Jackson headquarters. I roared back from last week’s National Championship debacle and scraped together some NBA winnings and big-time NFL parlays to move my betting performance up to the #3 slot on the Action Jackson scale: Treat Myself Because I Deserve It. This is when I make enough money that I can splurge for a nice steak dinner or maybe even a pair of jeans without holes in them. I am living the life of luxury that I have always deserved, but still re-investing most of my winnings back into betting for this week.
Let’s get into last week’s performance.
NBA Basketball Betting
Balance on Tuesday: 5 Units
Balance on Friday: 16 Units
Talk about a scrappy, lunch-pail, workmanlike week of NBA gambling from your friend Action Jackson. After Ohio State completely destroyed my balance after the national championship game last Monday, two things became crystal clear to me:
1) I would never bet on the under or Justin Fields again.
2) I would have to scratch and claw betting on NBA basketball during the week to build up a nice buffer for the NFL playoffs.
This was a week of smart, sensible bets. Not to pat myself on the back, but I had more discipline this week than John Legend at an afterparty. (I’m assuming women throw themselves at him, but he refuses to cheat on Chrissy Teigen. I have absolutely zero insider information on this subject, but he just doesn’t seem the type. Also, I can’t believe he won People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2019. He is not hot. He’s 5’9, has baby wrists, and is a 40-year-old father of two. He also has very beady eyes. Anyways, back to the diary.)
I learned from my mistakes last week and took the over in the Nets-Knicks matchup, and added two quick units on Wednesday. (Though also had my only loss, as I got a little too excited about the Nets trade and took the Knicks +6.) Then, I jumped all over a PointsBet boosted odds (up to +150) on Steph Curry to net 30 points against Denver’s horrible defense and pocketed another 3 units. Gotta keep an eye on your promos people.
To close out the week, I trusted our new writer and 76ers expert Mike O’Connor and put my entire balance on the Sixers -10.5 vs. the Heat. After their big win, I’ve decided that I will be trusting Mr. O’Connor with my entire financial portfolio for the rest of the year. I’m not sure that his wizardry translates to crippling credit card debt, but a man can dream.
NFL Divisional Playoffs Betting
Balance on Saturday: 16 Units
Balance on Monday: 22.5 Units
Standard Bets: 1/6
The power of the parlay. Despite hitting only 2 bets this weekend, I was able to grow my balance pretty significantly by employing my patented “parlay-hedge” strategy. I covered this a bit more in detail last week, but essentially the strategy is to create a series of parlays for different scenarios, with a mix of favorite and underdog moneylines. Generally, I try to stick to moneyline bets, because 1) the underdog payouts are generally higher, and 2) it’s too confusing to track spreads and over/under when I have so many different bets going.
I won the below parlay, which was the scenario I was the most confident would happen:
Bet: Green Bay ML, Buffalo ML, Kansas City ML, and Tampa Bay ML
Risked: 2.5 Units (+548)
Payout: 16.2 Units
The NFL parlays that I lost were a mix of different ML scenarios (I had the same set up as above, except with Rams ML before I knew Kupp was out) and two single-game NFL parlays on the Ravens-Bills and Rams-Packers games. These had ridiculously high payouts but were based on very specific situations that ultimately didn’t happen (i.e. GB -6.5, Cam Akers +100 yards, Total points 31-40).
PointsBet is nice because they offer parlay insurance if one leg of your single game parlay fails. But, unfortunately, all of mine shit the bed completely, so I didn’t get much money back. My goal for next week is to shop around multiple books to find the best payouts for my NFL parlays. #Grind
My standard bet performance was once again horrible. The only bet I hit this week was the Bills -2.5, and all of my losses weren’t even close. I like to have action on all the games during the playoffs. It makes it so I’m constantly stressed and can’t possibly enjoy a second of the weekend. But that’s the life we signed up for.
The Week Ahead
Once again, I’ll be grinding out NBA action this week, trying to grow my balance for the two NFL playoff games this weekend. Zach Selwyn has been on a betting hot streak, so I’m going to try to ride his picks tomorrow. (Don’t blow it, Zach.) Plus, we got a big McGregor-Poirier fight that I’ll be previewing on Friday (hint – I like Poirer) and ready to put a bunch of units on.
I’m a little stressed about the football this weekend since I won’t be able to lean as heavy on my Parlay-Hedge strategy (only two games to bet ML on). And all my other playoff bets have been less accurate than JaMarcus Russell. But as Dickie V always says, “Hey Ashley Judd, let me publicly kiss you on the mouth without your consent.”
Sorry, wrong quote. Let me try that again. As Dickie V always says, “Prime-Time Players make Prime-Time plays.” I’m a prime-time player, and I always elevate my game when the stakes are highest. The bigger the stage, the better my bets. I will rise to the occasion.
(This is based on absolutely no evidence or real-life results, but I’m speaking it into existence.)