Zach’s Season Record: 89-74
Twitter: @ZachSelwyn1
The NBA got pretty fun last week, as Bojan Bogdanović, Steph, and Bradley Beal all flirted with 50 point games like they were Matthew Perry matching with 19-year-old girls on that celebrity dating app called RAYA… Also, Russell Westbrook tied Oscar Robertson for most triple-doubles EVER and the Pelicans’ EVP of Basketball Operations got fined $50k for claiming Zion has been targeted all season long. In Zion’s defense, I agree with this complaint here and truly believe his physicality works against him in today’s much softer NBA… Or, as Jimmy Butler says, “Soft as Baby Sh*t.” (Sorry Karl Anthony-Towns… but Jimmy is a better trash talker than you are.)
Speaking of trash talk, folks are going at LeBron for complaining about the new NBA play-in game, saying that he is only angry because there is a VERY GOOD chance that the Lakers end up in this very game. If the defending champs do, and LeBron and AD aren’t at 100%, they could end up looking as uncomfortable as Elon Musk hosting SNL this past weekend.
One thing that I’m never uncomfortable with, however? Picking games and making you money. Here. We. Go.
Milwaukee Bucks @ San Antonio Spurs: Milwaukee -6.5 (-118)
Point Total: Over 234 (-107)
San Antonio has spoiled plenty of games for this year as DeMar DeRozan seems to have 2016 Olympic team talent every once in a while – especially when I bet against the Spurs – making me think he’s on some Kentucky Derby Bob Baffert ‘roid juice whenever he reads Zach to the Rack. Still, I think that the recent battles the Milwaukee Bucks have faced have prepared them a little better for this game against the San Antonio Spurs. Take the Bucks here by more than 6.5 and ignore the fact that Baffert went to Arizona. We don’t cheat.
Points-wise – sure, 234 is very doable tonight. Giannis and company light it up at times and San Antonio is more than just DeMar and Dejounte. I think we could see some points here and I feel comfortable taking the OVER.
Utah Jazz @ Golden State Warriors: Golden State +3 (-125)
Point Total: Over 226.5 (+100)
In a year where Steph Curry was supposed to be “exposed” more than Kim Kardashian’s “barely-there workout attire” she just launched, Steph has done nothing but enter the MVP race with incredible performances night after night. He hit 49-points in only three quarters two nights ago. OMG. I for one am VERY HAPPY for Steph, who was the YMCA U13 league shoe king during his MVP years until people decided he had too many supporting characters that were helping him achieve his glory. Now that Klay is gone and Draymond is older – NOT ANYMORE. Steph is the greatest shooter of all time. And even the greatest NBA rapper of all time, Dame D.O.L.L.A., agrees. (Although I’ll still back Cedric Ceballos over Dame in a rap battle. “Flow On” was a classic.) I won’t bet against the Dubs again this year. They might even win this game by 6-7.
Points-wise – I think we can expect another flurry of threes from Golden State, who had 25 in their last game. Utah loves scoring as well, and as much as Rudy Gobert is a DPOY candidate, he doesn’t stretch out to stop this arsenal of bombers from the perimeter. Take the OVER and thank me later.
If I’m wrong, I’ll go on a dating app and try to match myself with Matthew Perry.
